ipottyI’m leaving kitchen gadgets behind for today’s Bad Santa gift idea. At least, I hope I am. The Ipotty is woeful enough already, without having it in your kitchen. The Ipotty is a toilet training potty for your toddler with an Ipad attached to it. My first thought was shitty fingers all over the Ipad right before it’s dropped somewhere that would make you think twice about retrieving it. My second thought was that it’s the foundation for a lifetime of constipation. “Not finished mummy… Still not finished…” Maybe it’s made by the makers of Ex Lax.

Quick… Another idea, before my brain implodes.

A far better idea, and today’s Good Santa gift is the brand new lesbian erotica anthology from Ladylit. “A Christmas To Remember” features five brand new stories from Ezrabet Bishop, Lucy Felthouse, Laila Blake, Harper Bliss and moi. This is the same line up who scorched the pages earlier in the year in “Sweat”, also from Ladylit.

christmastorememberThere’s a fine variety of stories in this anthology. From the obligatory office party to a cabin in the woods, Christmas celebrations come in all shapes and sizes. The ladies in this Christmas anthology like to keep it original though, and get their festive groove on in bed shops and the Australian outback, not to mention the ‘Mermaids and Mistletoe Masquerade Ball’… A Christmas to Remember contains five lesbian erotica stories that will make your Christmas merry AND hot.

My story, “Outback Christmas” is set in the Australian Outback (duh!). Simona’s lover, Casey, has snapped her Achilles tendon falling off a ladder. While Casey is going crazy from the enforced rest, Simona is working for two, slaving in the heat and dust of a Queensland summer. A hot and sweaty story in more ways than one.

Here’s an excerpt:

She was doing everything, while Casey lay on the bed and listened to Radio National or spent short periods at the computer. Casey was frustrated; she was helpless, angry, and worried she wasn’t pulling her weight. It wasn’t about a Christmas gift. It went deeper than that. It delved into the layers of their relationship, the give and take.

Simona narrowed her eyes. “Well, I want a present,” she said. “And I want it now. It’s Christmas Eve. I’ll have my present early.”

A tiny wrinkle of confusion creased Casey’s forehead. “But I just said-“

“You big nong.” Simona stood, and her fingers moved to the front of her lightweight shirt. “There’s something you can give me.” The shirt fell to the floor, followed by her cotton bra.

The movement of air felt good on her bare skin. Still hot, still sweltering in the hottest part of the day, but better. She unzipped her jeans, and peeled them down her sticky legs. Horsehairs came loose and drifted in the current from the fan, joining the dust on the timber boards she hadn’t had time to vacuum.
Her panties were damp with sweat, and she hooked her fingers in the band, dragged them down, kicked them away. Naked, she stood at the end of the bed, hands on her hips, tendrils of long dark hair clinging damply to her neck.

“No present? You have something I want, Casey Jane Morotti, and it’s time you delivered.” She stepped around the bed and locked eyes with her lover. There was a wicked gleam in Casey’s eyes, one that Simona hadn’t seen since the day she’d found her crumpled in a heap at the bottom of their roofing ladder. Dark eyes locked together, offered, accepted, and sparkled in anticipation.

“I’ve been working hard,” Simona said in conversational tones. “I’ve exercised four horses, backed the colt, taken the ute down the bore paddock to fix the fence along the creek. Had to push start it by myself too, which isn’t easy. Killed a mulga snake, finished the guttering you left incomplete when you inconveniently fell off the ladder. Talked to Matt about the colt’s progress, and you know I loathe talking to owners. Swept the yard, shot half a dozen rabbits, did the laundry, fixed the dishwasher, and cooked dinner every night. Not bad tucker either, if I say so myself. But now it’s reward time.” She kneeled on the bed, swinging one lean thigh over Casey, so that her spread thighs were above Casey’s face. “I want to come twice before we even think about you. Tongue only the first time; the second you can use fingers or toys as well.”

There was just time to see the surprise in Casey’s eyes before she lowered her pussy onto Casey’s face. Surprise because Simona was seldom the assertive one, preferring to satisfy her lover before taking her own pleasure. She clutched the iron bedhead to help support her weight, and closed her eyes.

Casey’s fingers smoothed their way up Simona’s thigh, their light touch deepening the well of desire that already pooled in her belly. Simona tightened her calves around Casey’s ears. “I said tongue only.”